The Real You

Do You Know Your Main Style Yet?

People often say to me that they can be any of the 4 styles and that is true to an extent but we all have 1 or 2 styles of behaviour that is our Natural Style. We call this our Internal Profile. It’s who you are and how you behave when you are with the ones you love and feel most comfortable with.

In the other aspects of your life you can change your style to suit the circumstances.

People who work at a job, adopt a certain behaviour that they feel is necessary in order to be successful at that job. This is called our Adopted Style or our External Profile. For instance if you are in direct sales you would raise your I for Influence in order to get along with people. With a clerical job you would raise your C for Compliance. The boss may show more D for Dominance than they normally have.

When raising children, our S for Steadiness increases as we care and nurture them. Sometimes we have to raise our D in order to discipline or protect our children from danger.  How we manage teenagers is a whole separate post I’ll cover at a later date.

When the shifts we have to make are small we usually don’t notice it. It comes naturally. Like being a caring mother if normally your S is lower than say your D.

Sometimes the shifts we try to make are large and we can’t maintain them for any length of time. This can happen in recruiting. An applicant for a position will adopt a style of behaviour they think is required for that job or role. Months down the track, after the initial settling in time, the person’s real behaviour comes out. They may appear too social (High I) or their attention to detail is less than what is required (Low C).

The same is true in Network Marketing situations. The new recruit initially appears enthusiastic (raised their I) and has a plan of what they should do (raised their C). But then they don’t do anything much. This is where you can help by understanding their style and helping them to recognize what part of their behaviour they need to work on for success.

Remember behaviour is a habit. Your mix of the 4 styles is in part genetic but also influenced by your family and upbringing, your friends and life’s adventures and disappointments. Some textbooks on this subject state that your Internal Profile never changes. I do not agree. When we practice a new behaviour over and over, it becomes our new behaviour.

For instance, confidence is a characteristic of the High D or High I styles. If your D or I are low you may find these activities challenging:

  • Talking to a large group of people
  • Going to a Networking event like a business breakfast, alone
  • Phoning a lead and discussing your opportunity
  • Being asked your opinion at a meeting

But all of these things you can learn to do and if practiced often enough become easier. You have gradually changed your behaviour – increased your D or I.

To be successful you need to understand your own behavioural style, your own internal profile so that you can recognize when and how to change it, but also the styles of your team members so that you can help them be successful too.